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Therapy That Adapts to You
- Mary Glennan
- 33 minutes ago
- 4 min read
What Therapy Looks Like With Me
One of the most common questions I’m asked, sometimes directly and sometimes indirectly, is:
“What kind of therapy do you do?”
The honest answer is that I don’t practice therapy in a rigid, one-size-fits-all way, and I don’t lead with heavy theoretical language. Not because theory isn’t important, it is, but because therapy works best when it feels human, collaborative, and grounded in your lived experience rather than academic or clinical jargon.
This post is meant to give you a clear sense of what therapy with me actually looks like, how sessions tend to feel, what components I draw from, and why I focus on practicality, meaning, and safety rather than labels.
First and foremost, therapy is a relationship
Before any technique, framework, or skill comes into play, therapy is a relationship.
That means:
You are not being evaluated or judged
You don’t have to perform, explain yourself perfectly, or “do therapy right”
We pay attention not just to what you’re experiencing, but how you experience yourself in relationship to others
Safety, trust, and consistency are not extras. They are the foundation that makes meaningful change possible.
I work at the level of patterns, not just symptoms
While we absolutely address current stressors, symptoms, and practical concerns, I’m often listening for patterns beneath the surface, such as:
Repeating relationship dynamics
Longstanding self-criticism or shame
Cycles of over-functioning and burnout
Avoidance, numbing, or compulsive coping
A sense of feeling stuck, disconnected, or “not myself”
Rather than asking, “How do we get rid of this as quickly as possible?” we often explore:
“What makes sense about this?”
Many behaviors that cause distress today were once adaptive ways of surviving earlier experiences. Understanding that doesn’t excuse harm. It creates clarity, compassion, and choice.
I use a flexible, digestible, integrated approach
I draw from several evidence-based and depth-oriented approaches, including trauma-informed care, attachment-based therapy, nervous-system regulation, cognitive and behavioral tools, and meaning-focused work.
You won’t hear a lot of technical labels in session unless they are genuinely helpful. Instead, you’ll experience these approaches in practice through:
Learning how your nervous system responds to stress
Building practical regulation and coping skills
Exploring early relational experiences and how they show up now
Understanding internal conflicts rather than fighting them
Developing a more compassionate and integrated sense of self
The goal is not for you to learn clinical language. It is for you to feel more grounded, clear, and connected in your life.
Skills matter, but they are not the whole picture
There are times when skills are essential. We may work with:
Emotion regulation tools
Grounding and distress-tolerance strategies
Communication and boundary skills
Behavioral structure and daily routines
At the same time, skills alone rarely create lasting change if we don’t also understand why certain situations feel so charged or why certain patterns keep repeating.
We don’t just ask, “What should you do differently?”
We also ask:
What feels threatening here?
What are you afraid would happen if you changed?
What part of you learned this strategy for a reason?
We make room for complexity and mixed feelings
Many people come to therapy believing they should feel one clear way:
Grateful or angry
Strong or vulnerable
Ready to change or stuck
In reality, most growth happens in the presence of mixed feelings.
Therapy with me often involves slowing down enough to notice:
Conflicting needs
Ambivalence about change
Grief alongside relief
Desire for closeness alongside fear of it
Nothing needs to be forced or rushed. Tension and uncertainty are often signs that something meaningful is unfolding.
Meaning and identity are central to the work
Beyond symptom relief, many clients come to therapy with deeper questions:
Why do I keep ending up here?
Who am I outside of coping or surviving?
What actually matters to me?
We spend time exploring identity, values, and meaning in ways that connect directly to how you live, relate, and care for yourself.
Therapy is not about becoming someone else. It is about becoming more fully yourself, with less internal conflict and more choice.
Sessions are collaborative, not prescriptive
I don’t believe in telling clients who they are or what they should do with their lives.
Instead, therapy is a collaborative process where:
We check in about what feels most important each session
Your feedback matters
We adjust pacing and focus as needed
Insight and action develop together
Some sessions are reflective and exploratory. Others are more practical and structured. Both are valuable.
Why I don’t lead with jargon
Theoretical frameworks guide my thinking, but they are not the point of therapy.
When therapy becomes overly focused on labels, clients can feel:
Pathologized
Overwhelmed
Disconnected from their own experience
My priority is helping you understand yourself, not memorize concepts. If a framework helps you make sense of something, we will use it. If it doesn’t, we won’t.
Good therapy should feel grounding, not confusing.
What clients often say therapy feels like
Clients often describe our work together as:
Safe
Clarifying
Grounding
Collaborative
Honest but compassionate
Thoughtful rather than rushed
Practical without being superficial
Change tends to happen gradually, through insight, consistency, and increased self-trust.
A space that feels steady, safe, and authentic
Therapy with me can be very practical and solution-focused when you are dealing with immediate stressors or challenges in the here and now. At the same time, we also have the option to work at greater depth when it feels helpful.
That deeper work is about understanding yourself at your core and breaking long-standing cycles rather than just managing symptoms. When we slow down and look beneath the surface, we can begin to consciously shift attachment patterns, internal dialogue, relational dynamics, and the way you relate to yourself and others.
Some clients come in needing brief, focused support around a specific issue. Others want space to explore deeper patterns and make more foundational changes. Many move between both. Therapy is not one fixed path. The approach adapts to what you need, when you need it.
The options are flexible, digestible, and collaborative, grounded in both insight and action, depth and practicality.
If you’re curious about working together, I invite you to reach out and schedule a free consultation. This is a chance to get a feel for who I am, ask questions, and see whether I’m the right person to support you and what you’re hoping to work on.
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